Overcoming Perfectionism

Perfectionism is a personality trait that can be characterized by setting excessively high standards for oneself, accompanied by a strong drive to achieve flawlessness and an intense fear of failure or making mistakes. Individuals with perfectionistic tendencies often strive for unattainable ideals in various aspects of their lives, including work, relationships, and personal goals. It can manifest in different forms, such as self-oriented perfectionism (setting high standards for oneself), other-oriented perfectionism (imposing high standards on others), and socially prescribed perfectionism (perceiving pressure from others to be perfect).

When perfectionism goes unchecked, it can wreak havoc on our mental health. For instance, perceived failures or mistakes, can lead individuals with perfectionistic tendencies to engage in self-punitive behaviors or self-criticism. These responses can leave us feeling chronically dissatisfied and disconnected from ourselves. Thus, perfectionism can lead to a range of negative outcomes, including anxiety, depression, procrastination, burnout, and impaired social functioning.

One of the most powerful tools in therapy for combating perfectionism is cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). CBT helps individuals identify and reframe irrational beliefs and negative thought patterns that fuel perfectionism. By learning to recognize and challenge the inner critic, individuals can develop healthier coping strategies and build resilience in the face of setbacks. Moreover, therapy can be an invaluable support in developing self-compassion and self-acceptance.

If you are a perfectionist and you're dealing with any of the following, contact Dr. Cecily Portillo to see how individual therapy can help!

• Procrastination: Perfectionists may procrastinate on tasks or projects because they fear not being able to meet their own high standards. This can lead to missed deadlines, increased stress, and decreased productivity.

• Burnout: The constant pressure to achieve perfection can result in burnout—a state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion. Perfectionists may push themselves to the point of exhaustion, neglecting self-care and experiencing diminished motivation and enjoyment in activities.

• Interpersonal Problems: Perfectionism can strain relationships with others. Perfectionists may impose unrealistic standards on themselves and others, leading to frustration, resentment, and conflict in relationships. Additionally, perfectionists may struggle to accept criticism or feedback, fearing it as a personal attack on their worth.

• Fear of Failure: Perfectionists often have an intense fear of failure or making mistakes. This fear can be paralyzing, preventing them from taking risks or trying new things. It can also lead to avoidance behaviors and missed opportunities for growth and learning.

• Negative Self-Image: Perfectionists tend to be highly self-critical and have inflated expectations of themselves. Constantly falling short of these expectations can erode self-esteem and contribute to feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness.

• Inflexibility: Perfectionists may rigidly adhere to their own standards, even when they are unrealistic or unattainable. This can lead to inflexibility in thinking and behavior, making it difficult to adapt to change or accept imperfections in oneself and others.